I never thought I would say this, but I want to go back to Vegas. I don't want to be here. I'm lonely and I have no friends, no job, no distractions, nothing. My world is my internet, tv, and imagination. I'm tired of missing out on things with my friends. I didn't get to be there with a gallon of ice cream for Taylor. I missed Kelsey's bacherlorette party last night and I'm missing her wedding tomorrow. I feel like I'm missing out on everything being here. I don't even want to be here right now. I feel so isolated and not because I'm sitting in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I miss my freedom and independence. I miss stocking a kitchen with healthy food. I miss being able to stay out late and not having anyone care. I miss my job at Banana even though I hated it half the time because at least I felt like I was contributing to our funds. I miss being able to pronounce street names and knowing where things are. I miss my large bathtub and bathroom. I miss our old bed.
I miss my old life.
Is all of this worth the hope of creating a better life for us and our furture children?